Blackvspurple

I have read this book only once before, and the impact that it has will always stay in my mind. The pain, the pureness of pain, struggle, the dark truth of life, addiction, crime, and more pain.

Yet the beautiful thing about this all is that despite everything, despite every single negative emotion that is felt in James Frey, he falls in love with Lilly. And the way he loves Lily puts me at a loss for words, makes me wonder if what he wrote is true, especially since after reading about the scandals behind this book. James Frey first released this book as an autobiography, but later on when questioned, people began to realise that a lot of what he wrote was not what had happened. For writing sake, he had increased the level of pain. For writing sake, he had used words that showed more impact than the actual fact.

I read his comments about this whole episode. He explained it in a way that I think makes perfect sense. For him, the way he wrote A Million Little Pieces, was the way his life was in his head. Being a writer, when you write things out, even though it might be as close to real life as possible, you are able to manipulate words to suit your fancy.

To me though, I don’t care if James Frey wrote this as an autobiography, or if it’s fiction. I take it as it is – his story, and how he wants to tell it. His story about how even in the darkest corners of hell, he can actually find love.

And the way he accepts Lilly without judging her past, who she was, what she did, just simply takes my breath away.

I have a habit of underlining things from books that give me Goosebumps and  most of the pages of my copy of A Million Little Pieces are folded. Many conversations between James and Lilly underlined. Many, many moments between James and his friend Leonard underlined.

I’m currently reading the sequel to this book – My friend Leonard. I know that something drastic is going to happen to Lily, and so I’m a little afraid to carry on reading even though I am just on the first chapter of this book, mainly because I’m afraid my heart might not be able to take the devastation and the pain James Frey would write about.

He’s such a unique writer. Someone that knows how to capture moments and emotions so well. Knows the right way to bring his reader into his dark and gloomy life. He makes me depressed, truly depressed, and then he knows how to lift me up again so I don’t fall too much.

If all the books I read were written by him, I don’t think my heart could take it, for the emotions are too raw, too close to home to actually take it lightly. Once I finished A Million Little Pieces, I knew that it was one of the books that had tied itself on my heartstrings with a dead not.