Blackvspurple

For you I’d bleed myself dry. The line that is constantly in my head because you make me feel that way. And because of you, I use milk to bathe. You spoilt me by giving me all the joys in the world. Though I wanted only you.  But you kept giving me things only money can buy. I wanted you to spend time with me but your precious internet company was more important that I was. ARGHHH! To hell with you and all your friends. But for you, I’d bleed myself dry.

And I literally do that every time I get something from you, another cut will appear on my wrists, arms or legs. That is my token of appreciation for all the stuff that you have given me. You know, like thank you for all the gifts and heart-shaped boxes. And did I tell you that I have a heart-shaped cut too?  Your name is written in it.

I see our child of two years now sleeping in her room furnished for a teenager, packed with that whole Barbie collection. You weren’t like this before. Once you just bothered about having food on the table. Now its just things that you offer. I mean nothing to you, she means nothing to you. We’re all nothing. Nothing at all-I love that song. But I hate that word. I hate you. I hate us. My life has always been nothing. It means nothing to my family. But I didn’t expect that it would mean nothing to you.

Is this how it would be till we grow old? You coming back, removing your tie then heading to bed immediately. You couldn’t even care about checking if Bracelina is in bed or if I’m cutting myself again. I wish I could throw your bed away but then I can’t since we do sleep in the same bed anyway. If I do that where do I sleep?

I turned the radio. My favourite cd started playing its songs.

With that he just went to sleep. It was the only conversation we’ve had for ages. The song ‘About a girl’ played. I remembered how it became how it became the song of our love. He sang to me when we were having dinner at Lenon’s. His voice could make anyone go crazy. His face, so innocent and sincere- made me fall in love with him again and again. Then, after making me feel dizzy with that song he sang, he proposed to me.

Where had all of that gone now? You aren’t the man I married anymore. Instead you have turned into a beast that silently kills me. Either you have to go or ill go. I will go. I will go. At least Bracelina would have a sane parent to take care of her. I’m totally not right in the mind. But I am right for you.

And how will I go? Oh that’s simple. I have it all planned out already. But, only someone insane would be able to do that. I am not. I am not. I am only crazy. Crazy in love with a gorgeous guy. And so I will slowly cut everyday till it finally kills me. For you I’d bleed myself dry.