FOR YOU I’D BLEED MYSELF DRY – CASPER CLAASSEN Vs NILOFER

For you I’d bleed myself dry as though I am a victim that was stabbed repeatedly by a knife that was created by the passion of love so deep no one had. A way to measure its impact would be to look at this ring which shows infinite love.

It all started three years ago during a miserable winter when the cats stayed away and the dogs were lonely. Now, when I think back, it was such a typical meeting that you would read out of a book. Two people bumping into each other at a cd shop while looking for the same cd. We were two lonely souls. Both looking for Taking Back Sunday’s cd for company. So, when we bumped into each other we exchanged smiles and couldn’t resist looking at each other.

You took a copy of the cd and moved up front. I followed you, forgetting my own copy, took my card and offered to buy it for you. We then left the store and walked together, not speaking any words for we were both shy. I didn’t want to lose you then when you said you had to take the bus so I decided to be a man and found the courage that was buried in me to ask you out.

“Would you like to go for coffee now?” I asked. You nodded and the rest is history. Things went well for months. Special moment like getting couple rings and promising to be with each other for as long as we live creating a seemingly indestructible fortress of love.

“Why do you have to leave me, my love?”

“Asking too many questions will do you no good.”

“But, I deserve an answer. You created a haven for me which I thought I was secure in. I deserve an answer otherwise I will have endless nights.”

“Then I’m sorry but that’s what you have to do.”

“Well, then tell me where I can find you again in this empty world of mine.”

“You’ll never be able to find me again.” I said and walked away from you forever. The truth that you shall never find out is that I’m sick. I had to be admitted to the hospital and I will be there till I die. I watched you walk away from me that night, your ring glittering, your thoughts probably saying that I was a bastard.

I tried listening to those cds I bought a few months earlier to destroy my depression. But, I was reminded of you when I listened to it on my death bed. I lie here now wanting to be with you. I was really being unfair to you when I just pushed you away like that. All I have of you is this ring. This ring that is now burning through my skin. I press the button near my side table to ring for a nurse to get you here with me and then I hear the sound on the machine. I try to fight with all the zest. The very thought of you gave me to fight death but it fails. My time has really come and my deepest regret is that you never knew the truth. I hear the machine go silent now and then suddenly I feel a force and I’m hovering over my dead cold body.

I put in one last effort to battle this force that is taking me away from you. I try to force my way back into my body. I try it over and over again, but it fails. Then a bright light appears.

The brightness inundates me. Suddenly I feel…peace.

(Published in prosaicMagazine Issue 05, OCT/NOV 2005)