LOVE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING LETTERS

“Letters are just pieces of paper. Burn them, and what stays in your heart will stay; keep them and what vanishes will vanish.” – Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

One of my personal beliefs in life includes writing letters occasionally to friends and not just send random emails. I find that there is a certain joy in sending someone a letter. Whenever i write a letter I always imagine the look on a person’s face when he/she sees his/her name on the enevelope. I am sure that anyone who receives mail that is not bills will have a huge smile on his/her face.Because of my love for letters, I have found a lot of penpals who share this interest and we get to know each other through writing letters.

I have been in love before, I guess you could say that I have been in love for about two or three times. Eveytime I am in a relationship with someone, I would someway or the other send out a letter to the person, even if I knew that he was not a letter writing person; even when I know that I probably would receive no reply. And quite frankly, that was always the case. I would send out a random letter and I have never received any reply from those letters.

When i was around sixteen or seventeen, I wrote a whole bunch of letters addressed to ‘Dear you’. I had wanted the first man I fell in love with to know the kind of person I was at that point in time. I kept writing and writing even after I had got together with my first boyfriend. We were in a long distance relationship and with when his birthday was around the corner, I really wanted to give him something meaningful. I sent him all those letters and a stone that I had randomly found on the ground that was in the shape of a heart. Until today, I have no idea if he read every single one of those letters, but what I know is that those letters have been thrown away, mainly because when we broke up, he did not want to have any reminders of who I was. When he told me of what he did, of course, my heart ached, for those letters were something that I hoped would last for as long as I live. I felt like I lost part of myself that I can never get back and also I feel that it deprives the one I would end up with because he would know not know the kind of person I was back then.

When one pens a letter to someone else, he/she is solely thinking of that person and is creating something especially for that person. That is why letter writing is such a romantic process. Keeping the letter from someone whom you love and loves you is keeping a momento that signifies your love; keeping the time he/she spent thinking of you and keeping that art that is a result of the love both of you share or because of the love he/she has for you. Basically keeping letters, is a form of respect for the person who has taken the time to create something for you.

There was one time where I did receive something close to a love letter but I failed in keeping my end of the bargain. The letter meant so much to me, so much that I actually put it in my wallet and carried it with me whenever I went anywhere. Few months ago, I lost my wallet. I was lost in my thoughts after work and had not realised that I had dropped my wallet while I was walking home. So i failed in terms of respecting the person who sent me that letter because I do not have that letter to keep anymore.

Look at the quote that I had written at the start of this article. Although the letter I received has left me forever, I still remember the contents of the letter pretty clearly. I still remember how it felt in my hands. I still remember the curves of his handwriting and it is highly likely that I would remember all of those things for a very long time, or in fact, I dare say that I would remember all of those things for as long as I live. Unfortunately, the person who sent me that letter actually forgot the contents of the letter. After rereading the quote from Haruki Murakami again after I talked to him, I stopped moaning the loss of the letter because when words that were written are forgotten, those words just become words and have no meaning or purpose anymore. I realised that it would not mean anything even if I had the physical letter with me.I learnt to let go and stopped blaming myself.

I started writing to ‘Dear you’ again, but this time, I am writing those letters in a form of a journal and I have no intention of giving it away to any Tom, Dick or Harry. This time I will wait; this time I would give that gift to someone who truly understands the importance of writing and to someone who would respect the moments I chose to share with him when he was not part of my life; someone special and incredible who would understand why I wrote them and who would read them over and over again until even if the book is burnt he would remember most of the words I wrote.