Blackvspurple

Once I had a cat called Peter. It was the only thing, person or animal I have ever loved. I could go on and list down the reasons why I’m incapable of loving anything or anyone but that would just make you feel sorry for me and that is seriously not how I want this to turn out being. This has to be about my cat and how much love I had for him.

I remember this one incident where we were in the park. It’s not a fantastic thing that my cat did, but it was something that I would remember for a long, long time. My cat went into the bushes near a bench I was sitting on and came out with a dead mouse in one of his paw. In an age where cats were literally spoon fed, my Peter was still very much a hunter.

There were other things that made my Peter special as well. He refused to eat tuna fish out of the can but if it were just lying on the floor, he would eat it without hesitation. As a result, my house smelled of tuna fish. No matter how hard I try to get rid of the smell, it still doesn’t go away. So, you tell me then, how am I supposed to move on with my life if I cannot get rid of something that constantly reminds me of the one thing that I assumed would last forever?

Peter had purple eyes. I had a wide variety of cats to choose from but I had to have one that had purple eyes because I knew that that was the only way I could find something that was perfect enough for me to love. So the search for the perfect cat began. I went to every pet store there was in my town, but no one had any cat with purple eyes. Blue, yes. Pink (yes pink),yes! Red even. Green as well but no purple.

So I did what anyone living in the year 2005 would do, I went online to search for the perfect pet. They say that the internet has everything and they are most definitely right. I was down to two choices. One cat with black fur and the other with white fur. Though my favourite colours were black and purple, that black cat looked eerie even for the likes of me. I chose Peter over the black cat. Sometimes, I do wonder if that black cat ever had an owner, but that’s a totally different story, not one I shall pen down now. So where was I? Oh right, Peter. Peter was just adorable. White fur, purple eyes that were just begging me to take him.

He was delivered from Russia almost after a month since I agreed to buy him. At the time he arrived, he was just four months old. Taking care of this little baby became my top priority. I stopped calling my friends because every free time I had was dedicated to taking care of my Peter. My house that had carpeted floors now had to undergo renovation because fur was always getting stuck in the carpet. So marble tiles replaced those white carpets. I even paid the guys double in order to get the work completed by a week. I could not stand strangers in my space for too long. A week was more than enough. Marble tiles were also better to put cat food on. They didn’t leave a stain unlike carpets. Those fluffy white carpets. Before they were replaced, they were first covered with random spots of red that could never go off even when stronger detergents and cleaning products were used. I even went to the extend of putting an ad up saying that anyone could have those priceless carpets for free if they could remove those stains. Somehow, no one found that offer appealing enough or maybe the one person who could remove super tough stains was just too shy to come forward.

During the time in which the carpet got replaced, Peter wasn’t actually named Peter yet. He was just nothing. The reason he was named Peter was because the only place he slept was beside me, on my bed, where my husband Peter used to sleep in. For a week, I tried putting him in other places in my house. That turned out to be a total disaster. He really had such a contradicting personality. Even though he was a hunter, he detested sleeping with the roses. I thought it was a pretty sight though. The colours that were present in that rose bush. Brown, red, green, white and then purple. I took a picture to document that moment and went to bed that night thinking that Peter would love the rose bush as much as I had.

I was wrong.

He stayed up all night and disturbed my sleep with all his purring. After hearing five hours of his moaning I could not stand it any longer, so at five in the morning I went back to the rose bush and picked him up. Since I was really tired, I didn’t bother thinking of putting him in another place.

The moment he was placed down on Peter’s side of the bed, he fell asleep instantly. For the whole week I did the same thing. I put him in the kitchen and the moaning will start. After five hours, I brought him up and he slept instantly. I put him in the balcony and the moaning will start. After five hours, I brought him up and he slept instantly. Since I take time to process things before coming to a conclusion, it is no surprise to me that it took me a week to realise that my new cat would only fall asleep when he was beside me. This made me think of my husband who for some reason could never sleep unless I was beside him. That was why he hated those overseas business trips that he had to take. Because of this, I started to suspect that this white cat with purple eyes from Russia had the soul of my husband trapped in his body. My husband wanted to take revenge because of what I had done to him and therefore decided to come back to torment me in the form of a cat. When this thought first came into my head, I thought I was crazy but there were other incidents that happened after we got marble tiles that proved that I was not crazy.

Once Peter threw up on my favourite jeans and that made me remember husband Peter. The first time we went out on a proper date he got so drunk he threw up on my jeans. The reason cat Peter threw up is really faint and distant from my memory now. I cannot for the life of me remember why he did it, but he did do it. I remember him throwing up because he looked at me, looked at me really deeply, as if forcefully making me recall our first date.

Another thing that made me convinced he was my Peter was because every time I took caramel ice cream to snack on while watching tv shows, he would somehow try to steal it. My husband loved caramel ice cream, especially the ones with chocolate bits in them.

The weird thing was that when Peter (the human) was alive, I didn’t notice all these tiny details about him. I never knew what his favourite colour was. I never knew what he liked to eat or drink or if he even liked ice cream. I thought that I never loved him but seeing that I subconsciously remember all those little details that made him who he was, it does show that I actually loved him. See, I did warn you that I take a long time to process things.

I lived with Peter for ten years before killing him off and I never knew that I loved him till he reappeared in a cat’s body. I realise now that I was happy because he was around and not because of the things he bought for me.

So I decided to kill Peter the cat. It was the only way that Peter’s soul could be free. Even though Peter’s soul would be free then, I would still need to die in order to be with him. So just as soon as I finish writing this, I would go and join his carcass in the bathtub. Though it really does horribly stink since the carcass has been there for nearly a week, I know that I have to do it because without Peter, I cannot move on with normal day to day activities I used to do.

I tried to move on, thinking that Peter is happy now since he can be free from being a cat. He was made a cat to make me realise that I loved him. I had to free him, so I killed him because I knew he wouldn’t he happy staying a cat forever.

But then I realised another thing. Now that his spirit is free and floating around, Peter would not be able to sleep because in the other dimension, he can never find me no matter how hard he tries. I have to get to him so that he can fall asleep beside me. This way I can be free from constantly thinking of him and he can finally get sleep. Peter and I would be together forever.